An Invisible Giant

A Giant’s lying in the air
with both his feet in outer space…
See his colorful mustache hair?
That’s not a rainbow! It’s his face!

If My Nose Could Grow

I could lay so peacefully
on the bottom of a shallow sea
if through the surface, like a tree,
my nose could grow to breathe for me.

I would sniff the salty air
while little fish swam through my hair.
Seaweed’s all the clothes I’d wear.
I’d be so comfortable down there.

Memories

“When I became pregnant,” my mother said,
“I swallowed a pizza so you could be fed,
and because you were restless I swallowed a bed.”

“When you were a baby,” my mother wailed,
“you drank gallons of milk every time you inhaled…
Each time you spit up a ship could have sailed!”

“When you learned to crawl,” my mother complained,
“I must have been crazy to leave you unchained!
You got onto the roof every time that it rained.”

“When you started walking,” my mother sighed,
“whatever would break was where you’d collide.
I should have warned your grandmother to hide!”

 “When you got your first tooth,” my mother swore,
“to travel downstairs you chewed through the floor.
Your hand has five fingers. Your dentist’s has four!”

“When you first talked,” my mom cried in dismay,
“the words that came out of you turned my hair gray,
and every neighbor we had moved away!”

“When you’d throw a tantrum,” my mother roared,
“it would shake and rattle my spinal cord.
You derailed a train once while we were on board.”

“When we went to the zoo,” my mom reminisced,
“even the lions trembled and hissed.
The zoo put you on its ‘Prohibited’ list.”

“When I was a girl,” my mother confessed,
“for fun I would swallow a hornet’s nest.
Your grandmother says I once ate a house guest.”

“Before I had you,” my mom said and smiled,
“your grandmother hoped I’d have me for a child…
You’re sort of like me, but not nearly as wild!”

Three Grains of Rice

If I ate just one grain of rice
that would not suffice.
That’s not even enough for mice.
Ah ha, but luckily for me
I don’t have one grain,
I have three.

Once Upon a Paper Plate

Once upon a paper plate
I poured a saucy stew.
I ate and ate and ate and ate
and felt the plate disintegrate!
It missed my pants when it fell through
but the stew filled up my shoe!

How to Make a Flower Grow

My sister thinks her hairs are flowers.

She takes showers for hours and hours.

It takes more than water, though,

to make a flower really grow.

“You also need some dirt!” I said,

as I dumped some on her head.

She screamed. My dad said, “That’s not funny!

Now put your sister where it’s sunny!”

Science Lies!

My Science teacher makes me laugh.
I would learn more from a giraffe!
“Bodies are made of water,” she taught.
This led me to a simple thought.
Because I am the classroom sleuth
I called out, “Science isn’t truth!
If it were true, then please explain…
why don’t we get fat in the rain?”
Miss Newton sighed, “Why such defiance?”
I shrugged and said, “I don’t like Science.”