Oh Coconuts!

Once there was a cargo ship
sailing with a load of coconuts. 
It sailed into a storm on that trip,
and the wind and the waves made it start to tip. 
The Captain said, "Oh coconuts!"
He lost that load of coconuts. 

Once there was a hungry shark
swimming through a load of coconuts.
A craving lit up like a spark,
and he ate until well after dark.
Stuffed, he said, "Oh coconuts!"
His teeth all broke on coconuts.

Once there was a jellyfish
that bumped into a sinking coconut. 
To be a coconut became its wish. 
“It's better to be hard than to squish!”
It sighed and said, "Oh coconuts!
I'll never be a coconut!"

Once there was a hermit crab
that moved into a broken coconut. 
The crab's old shell was cramped and drab. 
This brand new shell was quite a grab! 
It trudged and said, "Oh coconuts!
This is a heavy coconut!"

Once there was a fishing line
that hooked onto a walking coconut.
It was hard to haul, which was a good sign. 
The fisherman pulled with all his spine!
And then he said, "Oh coconuts!
This fish is just a coconut!"

Once there was a gray seagull
that saw a crab in a coconut.
He scooped up the coconut, crab and all.
From the sky he lost his grip and let it fall.
The seagull cried, "Oh coconuts!
There goes my crab and coconut!"

Once there was a businessman
whose head caught a falling coconut.
It hurt, but suddenly he had a plan.
“I could sell coconuts in Japan!”
He frowned and said. "Oh coconuts!
I’ll need a ship for coconuts!"

Once there was a cargo ship
sailing with a load of coconuts. 
It sailed into a storm on that trip,
and the wind and the waves made it start to tip. 
The Captain said, "Oh coconuts!"
He lost that load of coconuts.

Cee-gar Smokin', Gee-tar Strokin' Man

All the birds stop whistlin’. They start hummin’.
Everybody shuts up to hear him comin’.
All the trees start dancin’ when he starts strummin’.
Yea.
The wind carries in his tobacky smell,
then it carries in his magical gee-tar spell. 
He’s a cee-gar smokin’, gee-tar strokin’ man.

With his cee-gar smokin' like a factory
he's an assembly line of melody, 
a mesmerizing musical mystery. 
Oh yea. 
Some people say he doesn't have a name. 
He was named by his mama, other people claim. 
She named him Cee-gar Smokin', Gee-tar Strokin' Man.

When he comes to town every foot is tappin'. 
There's no two hands you won't find clappin'. 
The babies in town even give up nappin'. 
Yea. 
The whole town declares that it's a holiday. 
No one wants to go to work and miss him play. 
He's the cee-gar smokin', gee-tar strokin' man. 

When he starts to leave everybody cries. 
They say it's the cee-gar smoke in their eyes. 
His gee-tar strummin' really satisfies. 
Oh yea. 
He says he'll be back, and no one ever doubts. 
At the first smell of smoke someone always shouts, 
"It's the cee-gar smokin', gee-tar strokin' man!"

Heavy Is the Head

I had a next-door neighbor that
wore his house on his head like a hat.

He sat down on my lawn one day.
He shook my hand and said, "I'll stay."
A few days later he walked away.

In his house he had his family.
He took them everywhere they asked to see.
I'd see the pictures when he'd visit me.

Tel Aviv, Mt. Rushmore, Rome,
Hazard County, Toronto, Nome.
Wherever he was, that man was home.

"Ramblin' Man" was his favorite song.
He never stayed in the same place long
(which is why his legs were so darn strong).

He once said, "This life don't stink!"
And through his window I could see him wink.
He said, "It's better than you think,
But it's not as easy as you think.
It's true I live wherever I roam,
but heavy is the head that wears the home.
Heavy is the head that wears the home.
Heavy is the head that wears the home."

An Invisible Giant

A Giant’s lying in the air
with both his feet in outer space…
See his colorful mustache hair?
That’s not a rainbow! It’s his face!

If My Nose Could Grow

I could lay so peacefully
on the bottom of a shallow sea
if through the surface, like a tree,
my nose could grow to breathe for me.

I would sniff the salty air
while little fish swam through my hair.
Seaweed’s all the clothes I’d wear.
I’d be so comfortable down there.

Memories

“When I became pregnant,” my mother said,
“I swallowed a pizza so you could be fed,
and because you were restless I swallowed a bed.”

“When you were a baby,” my mother wailed,
“you drank gallons of milk every time you inhaled…
Each time you spit up a ship could have sailed!”

“When you learned to crawl,” my mother complained,
“I must have been crazy to leave you unchained!
You got onto the roof every time that it rained.”

“When you started walking,” my mother sighed,
“whatever would break was where you’d collide.
I should have warned your grandmother to hide!”

 “When you got your first tooth,” my mother swore,
“to travel downstairs you chewed through the floor.
Your hand has five fingers. Your dentist’s has four!”

“When you first talked,” my mom cried in dismay,
“the words that came out of you turned my hair gray,
and every neighbor we had moved away!”

“When you’d throw a tantrum,” my mother roared,
“it would shake and rattle my spinal cord.
You derailed a train once while we were on board.”

“When we went to the zoo,” my mom reminisced,
“even the lions trembled and hissed.
The zoo put you on its ‘Prohibited’ list.”

“When I was a girl,” my mother confessed,
“for fun I would swallow a hornet’s nest.
Your grandmother says I once ate a house guest.”

“Before I had you,” my mom said and smiled,
“your grandmother hoped I’d have me for a child…
You’re sort of like me, but not nearly as wild!”

Three Grains of Rice

If I ate just one grain of rice
that would not suffice.
That’s not even enough for mice.
Ah ha, but luckily for me
I don’t have one grain,
I have three.